So, as I wind down this month of blogging, I have to admit my plan for today was to take the “easy way out” and write about what I am grateful for. And I do plan to talk about that but perhaps not in the way I had originally intended. As I blogged about yesterday, I am grateful for so much in my life and this gratitude is the basis for experiencing and knowing pure joy in our everyday lives. I could give the litany of what I am grateful for but I am going to narrow it to relationships past, present and future.
As I wrote about early in the month, my grandma died a month ago. When my family and my sisters family made our Thanksgiving plans in September, we had assumed grandma would be a part of our celebration. While she was not physically present today, she was most definitely present in other ways. My mom is still in the process of sorting through her things and she has found a refugee family from Africa to give her furniture, she found a single mom with two kids to give away food, and the rest has come back to her house. Today she brought out my grandma’s everyday jewelry for my sister, daughter and I to look at. Now my grandma had nothing of real value but she LOVED to wear dangle earrings and matching necklaces. She also had some beautiful scarves. My sister, daughter and I picked out a couple of things (the rest will be shipped to my aunt and her daughter) and told stories of grandma.
When we gathered around the table this year it was wonderful that my parents had both of their children as well as all of their living grandchildren present. The cousins got along (my children are a lot older so they just do whatever the little girls want) and had a great time drinking hot cocoa and eating pie. My daughter goes to college next year so who knows when all of the cousins will be together again?
The family gathering alone was great but I was also honored with several text messages, emails and Facebook messages from friends from the past, friends from my congregation and friends who are also colleagues of well wishes for this Thanksgiving day. I was struck by how many people I intersect with and how they each bring an important relationship into my life for different reasons. God has brought all of these people into my life and I am more than grateful, I am joyous over their presence. It also reminded me how if I sat and texted or emailed everyone in my life who brings me joy, it might take me more than a day! I have a friend who decided to pray through her list of Facebook friends this year. She would contact each person and ask how she could pray for them that day. When she contacted me, I was so moved and grateful for her prayers that day.
This leads me to ponder who I have yet to meet that will grace and bless my life? How can I be prepared for their presence and be prepared to be a blessing in their life as well? How does God open us up to the stranger for relationship? As a military brat, I have been the new girl more times than I can count and I am acutely aware of how hard it is to break into established groups even if you are invited in. Regardless of how well you get along, or how wanted you might be, just the fact that you are now there changes everything for those established relationships that were there before you. This is true even in places or systems that claim to be inviting or welcoming or whatever hospitable word you use, which in my experience would be church. We say we want new people and we welcome, call, send a letter, invite to a class or into a ministry and we may mean it when we invite, until they cause us to share our established friendships, or change how we move in our daily lives. Human nature causes us to not like to be uncomfortable or uncertain of our primary relationships and so when this happens our tendency is to pull in and draw tight boundaries to keep the newness and change at bay or in control.
We are all guilty of wanting status quo and opening ourselves up to a bit of chaos and change is daunting for even the most bold risk taker-especially when it comes to new relationships. So as we are grateful for the familiarity around our dinner tables today-and we should be!-how can we be grateful for new people yet to be met, for the changes they might bring, for the presence of God that they will be in our lives and for how they might change our lives and maybe God’s world.